Who Cares?
- leelambertcares3
- Oct 27, 2024
- 2 min read
Updated: Oct 30, 2024
...and why should you care?
My father has what, Alzheimer’s disease?
Well, so what if he can’t remember where he put his keys. Little did I know what it really meant?
One morning, there was a knock at the door at 7:00 a.m. There was my neighbor, Marty, with my father. He had wandered out of the house and down the street to have breakfast. He didn't even know Marty.
I realized in one moment, after my father had been living with me for 9 years, that circumstances had become unmanageable overnight.
I still didn’t know what that really meant. I began trying different solutions, like locking the door to his room at night. Wow!!! That didn’t work. I think he might have had a mini stroke trying to get out.
I was awakened one night around 2:00 a.m. I came down to find daddy on the floor with poop as far as the eye could see. I was in shock. Antonio, who took care of the house, loved daddy as if he was his own father. I immediately called him for help. He lifted my father, who was 6’-3”, and walked him into the bathroom. My father who was a very private man, could not have been handled with more love and dignity than he was by Antonio, that night.
I don’t know how long my father had been on the floor waiting for help. I don’t know what I would have done if Antonio hadn't been there.
But I soon found out. My father had become incontinent. As long as there was a nurse there, or Antonio, I was okay. But one day, I was the only one at home. Maybe you think it’s no big deal to change your own father’s diaper. I had no choice. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.
I knew then that it was over. I had to move him to a facility where he would be safe and well cared for. I grieved over this decision, as if I were sending him to jail. I felt guilty and desperate. I loved him so much and had vowed at an early age that I would always take care of him. It was the most painful decision I ever made.
This was not the end. It was just the beginning……..
I was my father’s caregiver for 15 years. He had Alzheimer’s disease. There are currently over 65 million caregivers in the U.S., expected to grow to over 120 million by 2030.
Caring for a loved one can devastate a family financially, physically and emotionally. Most people are in denial until they get the surprise phone call and then find themselves planning long term care in the emergency room.
Will you be ready when the phone rings?
What’s your plan?
Check out Caregiver Youniversity to Create Your Plan.
Join the Conversation at caregivingoutloud.com
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